There are seasons in a mama's life, and I met Rhonda when I was in my spring time...with our 3rd newborn babe in arms. Rhonda was in her autumn, with 5 children already grown and 4 more still at home. Because she had "been there and done that" and was still active in the trenches of everyday motherhood, I enlisted myself as one of her "followers." I learned at her knee like a child learns...listening, watching, asking questions. Rhonda gathered me up under her wings and let me learn from her life.
Rhonda held her days as an open book for me to study and observe and imitate. She would send me little emails, telling me what she had planned for dinner or what special thing she was doing for her children that day. I would listen with the greatest interest and then would swell with a new sense of motivation to do something similar for my own family. Rhonda's home was warm and cozy and oozed of love, and it appealed to me. I ached to repeat it in my own home. All the ins and outs of a million details were shared through her life... She spoke of honey cakes and son-in-laws, fresh ground wheat and spiritual warfare, Jewish feasts and homemade aprons, painted cabinets and hobby farms, herbal remedies and special recipes. Rhonda taught me how to redirect disobedient children, how to plan simple meals, and how to respect my husband when it was difficult. She encouraged me when my days were rough, helped me come up with a new game plan when my children weren't cooperating, showed me a thousand things to make my home inviting, corrected me when I wasn't putting forth my best, and was an absolute anchor when I lost our 4th child in a stillbirth. She was, in every sense, my Titus 2 mentor.
Titus 2: 4-5 says that older women are to "train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."
Three years ago, Rhonda went to be with the Lord. For weeks following her home-going, I found myself saying NO! I wasn't yet ready to let her go. I still had so much to learn about being a good wife and mama. I still had bad days when I needed her advice. I still wanted to be under her wing, watching and learning as she modeled all I so desperately aimed to be in my own home. I wanted (needed!) a living, breathing person who was currently living out motherhood before my eyes so that I could see it in action...the kind of woman who truly embraces her place in the home with passion and creativity and focus. But she was gone.
It's been over three years since I was able to talk to her. And, amazingly, in those 3 years, I have yet to meet another Titus 2 mentor. I'm not saying that I don't know many wonderful godly women, because I do. And I'm sure that I could find a class or Bible study that focuses on being a good wife and mom. And I'm incredibly thankful for the wealth of online "mentoring" available, through websites like A Wise Woman Builds her Home or Above Rubies. They have been a wealth of information and encouragement to me.
And yet, nothing is quite like having an older mama take you by the hand and say, "Watch" and then live it out before your eyes. Oh, for just a day to have again with Rhonda!
Yesterday in Wal-mart, right there in the aisle of that busy store, I felt a wave of grief in missing my friend. Perhaps it was prompted by the umpteenth time I heard a frustrated mama lash out at her child...the tone of voice, the impatience. And right there in the midst of all those canned goods, a question reverberated in my soul: WHERE ARE THEY? Where are the older Titus 2 mamas who will walk this thing out in front of the frustrated, tired younger mamas? Shouldn't they be on every block, in every neighborhood, in every circle of friends?
There's a dwindling number of wives and mothers who are fully embracing their role in their homes with such passion and energy that it simply SHOWS in their every day lives. I read something yesterday about how the home is the most empty place during the work days. There's something incredibly sad about that. Where are the women like Rhonda who will not only embrace their home and family with full focus but will also allow younger mamas the opportunity to learn at their knee? If we wanted to, we could find a million mentors for how to be a woman who successfully climbs the corporate ladder. Should we not also be able to easily find a woman who has instead embraced God's call in Titus 2...the one who is working at home, loving and serving her husband and children as her ministry and highest duty?
I'm so very thankful for the short years I was mentored by a woman who truly was Titus 2 in action....not just a class or a book or a good intention...but a real person who took that call seriously. And as I crest into the 40's, I realize that I've moved into the summertime of motherhood...and the baton is passing. I don't feel ready. I feel far less than I need to be. I do pray that I will become all God wants in a Titus 2 woman.
